A rant in pictures (non-gross potty pics inside)

"Chariotoflove" (chariotoflove) 05/13/2019 at 14:06 • Filed to: I thought the operating instructions were clear

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Cash Rewards > Chariotoflove 05/13/2019 at 14:12

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Seriously. Everyone knows that's what the toilet SEAT is for

Chariotoflove > Cash Rewards 05/13/2019 at 14:13

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*triggered*

TheRealBicycleBuck > Cash Rewards 05/13/2019 at 14:15

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Recent immigrants who c ome from countries where potties are squat holes aren’t used to seats. There are at least two of them at my current office.

InFierority Complex > Chariotoflove 05/13/2019 at 14:16

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Someone more used to squat toilets, perhaps? Man, that w ould be dangerous, though.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Chariotoflove 05/13/2019 at 14:18

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As seen in Arches National Park.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Chariotoflove 05/13/2019 at 14:21

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This is why I just shit in the bush outside of my office.

#organiclife

Ash78, voting early and often > Chariotoflove 05/13/2019 at 14:21

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They must think Americans are extremely skilled to spend our lives squatting on 2" polished porcelain lips.

Also: They’re not technically standing. All the signs are wrong!

Chariotoflove > InFierority Complex 05/13/2019 at 14:22

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Yes. It is. The problem is this isn’t one of those.  Splatter and cleanliness as well as safety becomes a real problem. 

Chariotoflove > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 05/13/2019 at 14:23

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Maybe I should get one of those. It saddens me that I am even considering it. 

CalzoneGolem > Chariotoflove 05/13/2019 at 14:23

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This is super dangerous because the toilet isn’t designed to handle the loads and could easily break and slice the fuck out of whomever is squatting on it. 

Chariotoflove > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 05/13/2019 at 14:24

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We could learn so much from our northern cousins. 

Chariotoflove > Ash78, voting early and often 05/13/2019 at 14:26

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Perhaps a training video for newcomers then?

Chariotoflove > CalzoneGolem 05/13/2019 at 14:27

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Or even just slipping off. Both serious concerns. 

CalzoneGolem > Chariotoflove 05/13/2019 at 14:28

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Slipping off might be better tha n slipping in.

InFierority Complex > Chariotoflove 05/13/2019 at 14:30

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Yeah, I’ve walked into some messes before because of similar situations. Maybe another sign wouldn’t be a bad idea? They might not think they’re “standing” on it.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Chariotoflove 05/13/2019 at 14:32

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I was in Paris once in the late 80s . I shared a six- pack of beer with a friend I met up with in the vicinity of the base of the Eiffel Tower. Somewhere in the midst of the evening, it became readily apparent that I had a most despe rate need to go Number Two. Things became exceedingly dire to the point that I would have an accident if I did not find a place to take a crap. Danger close.

So we went to a cafe to find a food, and I went straight to the bathroom and discovered that in France, there’s a hole in the floor and a pad for each foot, and you squat and crap into the hole. I said, That’s novel, but we’re going to work with this. Level unlocked; pants saved. Just one of those crapping-in-a-foreign-land stories.

I took Spanish from an insufferable Spani ard a number of year back. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area, so we encounter lots of Central and South Americans. This guy would spend the entire period talking about food and restaurants and telling women who work as healthcare workers that no, that’s not what the people say that you serve every day in your job . One thing he said that I took away with me and will never forget: “You have not experienced another country until you’ve been hungry in that country.” I believe that. For my part, I had not truly experienced Paris until I squatted and explosively shat into a hole in the Men’s Room floor.

Chariotoflove > CalzoneGolem 05/13/2019 at 14:34

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True.  But cracking your tailbone has its own rewards as well. 

Chariotoflove > InFierority Complex 05/13/2019 at 14:37

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Yeah. I mean, I hate having to post stuff for adults that everyone was supposed to learn as kids. But sometimes people make things necessary.

Fortunately this is not as frequent as it could be. If it gets anymore, I’ll have to do more. 

Chariotoflove > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 05/13/2019 at 14:39

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I was aware of squat toilets in Asia, but not in France despite having visited there. So you’ve told me something new. 

InFierority Complex > Chariotoflove 05/13/2019 at 14:44

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If it makes you feel any better my workplace had to post signs reminding people to flush not all that long ago. 

Chariotoflove > InFierority Complex 05/13/2019 at 14:48

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Ugh. Why do people learn nothing from kindergarten?

Chariotoflove > TheRealBicycleBuck 05/13/2019 at 14:50

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When in Rome, shit as the Romans do. I feel I can figure out how to adapt to equipment overseas. It’s not that hard to understand. 

This is what we'll show whenever you publish anything on Kinja: > Chariotoflove 05/13/2019 at 14:52

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Many years ago an office memo was drafted which was meant to address the issue of people eating in the bathroom. I won’t name the company, or the homeland of the cleaning staff who were charged with maintaining the property. All I will say is that the organization designed and produced surgical instruments and the cleaners were repeatedly caught eating while in the shitter, much to managements horror. The final straw was when an executive walked in on someone sitting in a stall whilst eating corn on the cobb.

Apparently they never learned the code of the streets. Don’t shit where you eat.

...or perhaps they did and were shitting elsewhere.

The world may never know.

This is what we'll show whenever you publish anything on Kinja: > CalzoneGolem 05/13/2019 at 14:53

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Rectum? Damn near killed ‘em!!

ranwhenparked > Chariotoflove 05/13/2019 at 14:54

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I can't, I guarantee you I'll go out of my way to find a hotel with western style toilets, even if they have to be the German kind with the fecal inspection shelf. 

Chariotoflove > This is what we'll show whenever you publish anything on Kinja: 05/13/2019 at 14:54

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And I thought I had gross stories of clinicians  I watch leaving stalls and not washing their hands.

Chariotoflove > ranwhenparked 05/13/2019 at 14:56

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Fair enough. But at least you are not misusing the equipment provided. 

TheRealBicycleBuck > Chariotoflove 05/13/2019 at 14:58

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At least they aren’t squatting on the seat and leaving their footprints there.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Chariotoflove 05/13/2019 at 15:07

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I once glimpsed a pack of smokes in a GODDAMN PULMONOLOGIST’s purse.

Eberle-Hills-Cop > This is what we'll show whenever you publish anything on Kinja: 05/13/2019 at 15:09

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Toilet corn on the cob huh. Sounds like The Legend of Corncob Boy grows.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Chariotoflove 05/13/2019 at 15:12

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When in France...

Chariotoflove > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 05/13/2019 at 15:13

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Oh, I see that in lots of older docs still.  They know it’s killing them.  They must feel so stupid.

Svend > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 05/13/2019 at 15:14

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I had a similar experience on the realisation of floor hole toilets.

Whilst I lived in Saudi for many years where those toilets are common, I lived on a base and we had western toilets so never had to use a whole in the floor.

Then 20 years ago, I was working in Holland and needed the toilet at the factory, now I'd always used the first few stalls in the past, never the ones at the far end. On this day with the first four stalls occupied, I went to use one of the last two stalls. As I opened the door, a fear of, 'I really need to go and someone's not put an out of order sign on the door after taking out the old toilet base, leaving a hole, went to stall number six and noticed the same, then saw the foot place pads then realised what they were and thought, 'hell no I'm not using those, and had to pucker up and wait for a western style stall to be available. 

Chariotoflove > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 05/13/2019 at 15:14

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...conquer it and claim it for your empire like everyone else?

Michael > ranwhenparked 05/13/2019 at 15:16

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Michael > ranwhenparked 05/13/2019 at 15:16

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I’d google this, but... I just don’t want to.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Svend 05/13/2019 at 15:20

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I can relate, but I much preferred Stall Six to Code Brown, so we adapted, improvised, and overcame.

Svend > Chariotoflove 05/13/2019 at 15:24

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Ye’, but historically the Romans used to sit on a piece of wood over a diverted stream, shit then wipe their arse with a sponge on stick from a bucket of water (they had their own stick though). I think I’ll stick with the modern day British flushable toilet, thank you.

Svend > ranwhenparked 05/13/2019 at 15:25

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I had one of those toilets in my house when I lived in Holland. Thankfully the one up stairs was a normal one.  

zoomzoommessiah > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 05/13/2019 at 15:33

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I’m confused, what does that have to do with anything?

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > zoomzoommessiah 05/13/2019 at 15:36

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Chariotoflove was talking about hypocrisy committed by medical staff . I p rovided a particularly egregious example that I had encountered.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Chariotoflove 05/13/2019 at 15:40

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But, like, a freaking  lung doctor should not be dispensing medical advice while smoking. I wouldn’t be able to afford them any credibility.

zoomzoommessiah > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 05/13/2019 at 15:42

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Your take away from someone talking about clinicians leaving stalls and not washing their hands was “well, they’re hypocrites ”?

I don’t think hypocrisy was the problem Chariotoflove had, it was probably more that these doctors with shit-hands would be touching patients, putting their fingers in patient’s mouths... and other places...

This is what we'll show whenever you publish anything on Kinja: > Eberle-Hills-Cop 05/13/2019 at 15:53

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Hilarious coincidence, but my story hails from the mid 80's.

Sovande > Chariotoflove 05/13/2019 at 16:00

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Ahhh toilets. At least your not using one of 12 disgusting Porta potties like I have to every day at my job site.

An interesting thing I learned today is that graffiti in a Porta potty can be considered a federal hate crime and the person/group who has rented the capper can be held liable for it. 

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 05/13/2019 at 16:19

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AND YOU WONDER WHY WE DON’T LIKE CANADIAN TOURISTS

Svend > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 05/13/2019 at 16:57

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I've never actually used one and didn't want a bad gut experience to be my first time. Lol. 

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Svend 05/13/2019 at 17:02

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My choices were:

1. S** t in the hole.

2. S**t my pants.

I chose No. 1.

Chariotoflove > Svend 05/13/2019 at 17:58

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I’ m on board with that.

Chariotoflove > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 05/13/2019 at 18:04

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Nicotine is a helluva drug. It makes people do things they k now they shouldn’t.

But not washing hands is just lazy, especially when you’ve supposedly had education in microbiology and public health. That’s not a doctor struggling with addiction . That’s an idiot who fell asleep in his med school classes .

Chariotoflove > Sovande 05/13/2019 at 18:05

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Really?  See, I would have thought making people have to use porta potties would be a hate crime.

Svend > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 05/13/2019 at 18:30

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My concern was 1 leading to 2. In that I didn't know how explosive it was going to be and no experience of aiming my hole with another hole leading to risk of splash back upwards or at least to the rear of my boots, etc...

DipodomysDeserti > Chariotoflove 05/13/2019 at 21:03

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I think that more just a  disgusting person. My six year old knows what happens when you don’t wash your hands.

DipodomysDeserti > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 05/13/2019 at 21:06

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Should ER docs not ride motorcycles or stick things up their butts?

DipodomysDeserti > Chariotoflove 05/13/2019 at 21:10

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Apparently it’s a cultural thing. There are signs at Yellowstone telling people not to stand on toilettes.

Chariotoflove > DipodomysDeserti 05/13/2019 at 21:34

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Yes. It’s an Asian thing, and we have a lot of Chinese folks visiting on visas. 

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Svend 05/13/2019 at 22:53

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Yup. But for me, 2 was already overdue, so there was no time for indecision.

Why do I spend time on Oppo again?

Svend > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 05/14/2019 at 00:41

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Lol. No idea.

Maybe we like the talking shit. 

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Svend 05/14/2019 at 09:42

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Nope.

BaconSandwich is tasty. > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 05/15/2019 at 23:42

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What is it with France and plumbing issues?

My story: I got off the plane at Bordeaux, and kind of needed to do a number 1. You know the feeling - it’s probably a good idea to go, as I didn’t know how long it would take to get to the hotel. So I walk into the bathroom to be greeted by one of those floor-height urinals... overflowing all over the floor. I waited until I could get to the hotel.

Later on, when I went to shower at the hotel, I discovered the clip that holds the flexible/removable shower head was broken. So I had to hold the shower head with one hand and scrub with the other. It’s surprisingly challenging without spraying water everywhere.

Mrs. BaconSandwich’s story: Her and some of her family were in France, and were at Versailles .  She had to go - desperately.  There was a line for the bathroom that took quite a while to get through (like probably an hour worth of waiting).  

BaconSandwich is tasty. > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 05/15/2019 at 23:44

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That looks like a turd that my 4 year old could have done. She gets plugged up for a while, then drops one like that. I have no idea how it fits inside her.

As for that pic... so many questions.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > BaconSandwich is tasty. 05/16/2019 at 00:49

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The name speaks for itself.